Training – Professional

PNDC For Consulting Firms & Independent Consultants and Coaches

Whether offering services in the area of technology, management, team-building, cultural competence, strategic planning, or executive and personal coaching, consultants and coaches often try to empower others to change by encouraging them. Unfortunately, much “encouragement,” however positive in intention, is tantamount to trying to convince the person to change and is likely to have the effect of entrenching the person in their own resistance. Or, they may be momentarily inspired, but quickly lapse in their efforts. The Powerful Non-Defensive Communication process is designed to avoid this common pitfall by uncovering the root causes of resistance. The process involves asking questions designed to defuse defensiveness, give feedback that leaves the other person feeling respected and more likely to be motivated to changes, and predicting consequences in a manner that can prompt people to become more competent. It can be transformational in one-to-one coaching. When consulting with organizations and professional groups, it can create stronger teamwork and more creative planning.

For many years I have coached other managers and colleagues at both Chevron and Kaiser Permanente. My coaching has focused on issues such as dealing with a difficult employee, communicating with colleagues who are peers, and building collaborative skills with teams where there are underlying conflicts that inhibit productivity. I see . . . people feel victimized by others, avoid accountability, and pass blame. Using Powerful Non-Defensive Communication skills to ask questions that get at an issue quickly; give honest, yet respectful feedback; state opinions with clarity and power; and set effective boundaries can move employees and managers alike out of the victim-blame cycle. As I use these skills, I find that I can clarify my own position much more easily. As I coach others, I find the skills to be logical and easy to model, discuss, teach, and apply to almost any issue at hand.

—Karin Kelly Givens, National Project Manager, Kaiser Permanente; Previously, Chevron, Recipient, President’s Award

PNDC for Professionals in the Field of Diversity & Cultural Competence

Once focused primarily on differences in culture and experience for people from various races, definitions of diversity now commonly include groups of different ethnicity, religion, gender, and sexual orientation, as well as age, profession and even personality. It’s hard enough to create understanding among homogeneous groups of people. Being open to an expanding cultural awareness can challenge to many people’s sense of security. Workplace bullying is extremely common and frequently involves targeting people who are seen as “other.” PNDC skills sets are invaluable for reducing bullying and both conscious and unconscious bias in the workplace. Enhancing cultural competence fosters greater respect and creativity at every level in an organization.

Client List: Hewlett Packard, Harassment, Discrimination and Diversity training, with HP attorneys — Nordstrom Regional Diversity Managers — Diversity Pipeline, Women of Color in Health Sciences —A Progressive Scholars and Activists Conference on Anti-Semitism and the Left, Oakland CA — Latino Medical School Association — Human Rights Coalition

As a facilitator of what typically are challenging topics (sexual assault, date rape, stalking, relationship violence), I was paying close attention to your facilitation. I deeply appreciate your authenticity and continual sharing and self-observation of your own process and rhythms. I learned so much from watching your style and listening to you. Thank you for the energy, caring and sensitivity with which you facilitated — throughout the two days of the training you did for our UC Berkeley Staff Diversity Facilitator Network .

—Nancy Chu, Title IX Compliance Officer, U.C. Berkeley

PNDC For Professionals in the Field of K-12 Education

Educating our children today is an enormous task. Teachers must manage classrooms where children and teens are often more vocal and less responsive to expectations than in decades past. Classrooms are frequently far more diverse, requiring increasing cultural awareness. Teachers must often co-ordinate with parents and other educators about educational plans for students with various kinds of special needs. Issues regarding bullying have increased dramatically; and far more caution is required when monitoring who is authorized to pick a child up from school. Parents are often more protective of their own children and more demanding of teachers and other school personnel. Being a dedicated educator simply does not ensure that there will be agreement among teachers, students, aides, parents, specialists and administrators. The level of frustration can become overwhelming for everyone. Highly effective skills in being direct and honest while defusing defensiveness are invaluable.

Client List: Association of California School Administrators, Student Services – Every Child Counts Symposium — Milwaukee Public Schools, WI — Federal Way Public Schools, WA — Montessori Schools, OR, CA, MN — Head Start, OR, CA — Oregon Multicultural Education Association

I have come to regard non-defensive communication as a powerful tool in my teaching and personal life. I learned how to actually gain power by not engaging in defensive tactics. Still, I was not totally convinced of the efficacy of this strategy until I used it at my middle school where I deal with kids seasoned in power struggles. It worked! Students were able to walk away from disagreements, both sides feeling okay about the results, not the usual fight/lose model. I think my students are now willing to consider a different way of solving their problems. The seeds of peace have been planted.

—Linda Bennet, Block 6 Teacher, Thurston Middle School, Springfield, OR

PNDC For Professionals in the Field of Education: University

A core ideal of the University has long been to enhance the life of the mind through diversity of opinion, shared through civil discourse. Currently, a university’s survival is dependent on grant money for research, and professors seeking tenure are under pressure to publish in order to help secure their position. In many cases, the cost is a decrease in the level of direct engagement with students. Also, competition between individuals and departments for resources has taxed the civility among educators; and lack of civility in classrooms has become an issue as well. A key to keeping the vitality of a university is to place value on developing highly effective methods of communication that can be used among colleagues and in classroom settings.

Partial Client List: University of California Medical School, San Francisco — University of California, Riverside (board, department heads, administrators, & Student leaders) —Stanford University — Clemson University, NC — St. John’s University, MN — Wake Forest University, S.C. — National Conference on College Composition and Communication (4 C’s), Phoenix, AZ.

For centuries, Aristotle’s model for communication has been taught in Western culture as the art of winning arguments. Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication replaces this traditional model with one that gives each person the ability to communicate effectively without engaging in power struggle.

—Dr. Martin Jacobi, Dean, English Department, Clemson University

Thank you for providing one of the most gratifying experiences that I have had in my teaching career. The information you provided was spectacular; your sensitivity was beautiful to witness.

—Rose Salk, Associate Professor, Sociology Department, St. Cloud State University, St. Cloud, MN

PNDC For Professionals in the Field of Education: Community College

Community colleges offer a wide range of exceedingly valuable educational programs that address community needs. They are very student and community oriented. In addition, they offer opportunity for students who want to re-enter the work force or to transfer to a four-year college or university. This kind of creative approach to higher education is a hallmark of community colleges. At the same time, issues such as competition for funding in lean economic times, working with and meeting the needs of diverse populations on campus and in the community, and fostering civil classroom and campus environments can cause much undue stress. PNDC skills can strengthen instructors, staff and administrative personnel and college board members ability to communicate in ways that enhance leadership in the college and the community.

Partial Client List: Child Development Careers Conference involving 51 California community colleges — Statewide Community College Student Leadership Conference — San Francisco City College — Portland Community College, OR — North Seattle Community College, WA — Metropolitan Community College, Kansas City, MO

Ms. Ellison has conducted workshops at San Francisco City College for administrators, faculty, counselors, clerical and custodial workers, and security staff. Each person became an active participant letting down his/her defenses, asking questions, doing role-plays. Everyone learned how to communicate with each other, whether we were colleague, supervisor or subordinate. It built a sense of community throughout the college. I have never seen such a positive response from such a diverse group of people.

—Jennifer Biehn, Dean of Student Services, City College of San Francisco, CA

Sharon was originally invited to speak at the Middletown Community College Campus for a small group of faculty last year. As word spread, it was opened up at the last minute and about half of our faculty came and were so intrigued, we invited her back to keynote our August faculty conference for two of Miami University’s campuses. The program took place a week before classes started and was not mandatory. The faculty from one campus had to drive 25 miles to attend and we had a 90% turnout of the entire faculty from both campuses. It is unheard of to have such attendance.

I have been sponsoring faculty development workshops for the last 15 years and have not seen a similar longevity of response for any prior speaker. I found Sharon Ellison’s presentation to be qualitatively different in the depth of impact it had on our faculty. Also, I often find that the impact is greatest immediately after a workshop and, as people’s memory fades, the impact also fades. In this case, faculty have continued to ask for additional copies of her material and to discuss and practice the skills she taught. I have to say it was magical. What she presented was exactly what we needed.

—Gary Wheeler, Associate Executive Director, Miami University, Middletown

PNDC For Professionals in the Field of Finance

Financial advisers, whether working in major institutions, small businesses, or independently, are often in the position of advising clients who have unrealistic ideas about what is possible in terms of achieving their financially related goals, and thus, may be resistant to advice. This is true regardless of the financial realm, whether it be investment, business or personal loans, tax issues, retirement planning, wills, trusts, or financial issues related to divorce. In many cases, disagreements between couples or among business partners may add additional layers of conflict, defensiveness, and power struggle. Having non-defensive communication skills can give financial advisors vital tools needed to move past conflict and empower clients to make wise decisions.

Partial Client List: Ernst and Young — Wells Fargo — Lane County Credit Association, Eugene, OR — Oregon Tax Association — the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts — Babcock School of Business Management, Wake Forest University, N.C. — UCSF Medical School, Financial Officers — IRS National Conference on Small Business & Self-Employment.

I was able to achieve a positive outcome to a situation that I think otherwise would have devolved into typical power politics with the core conflict left unresolved. Employing PNDC enabled me to keep the points of discussion moving forward in a neutral, non-threatening and effective way. In my opinion, learning PDNC is an invaluable skill set for any professional working in the financial services industry.

—Kari Hovland, Senior Vice President, Wells Fargo Bank

Your program was a major drawing factor assisting us in getting the greatest percentage of first-time conference attendees at the Pacific Northwest Credit Conference in the last 10 years. Conference delegates were very appreciative of your information and expertise and are already putting the information to use. You had practical ideas that not only help us do our jobs, but also to communicate in a compassionate way and avoid the stereotype that people in finance often face of being “cold” and caring more about money that people!

—Robin Ashburn, Pacific Northwest Credit Association , Conference Chairperson

PNDC for Professionals in Government Organizations

The function of government agencies requires a dual emphasis, where protection and service for citizens also requires enforcement of laws and policies. Many people simply react negatively to government control and don’t show appreciation for either the protection or the services the government offers. Regardless of specific function, most government agencies are open to criticism from the media and various groups within the community. Being able to diffuse defensiveness is a skill that can give government employees the power to reclaim more of the gratification of being able provide important services.

Partial Client List: The Smithsonian Institute — Department of the Navy, International ADR Conference — IRS — US Postal Service — Indian Health Services (IHS) — Oakland Housing Authority, CA — City of Charlottesville, VA — Marin County Mayors and Councilmembers — Los Angeles Superior (judges and clerks) — HR Working Group for the United States Federal Government, Washington D.C.

I am writing to thank you for the wonderful work you have done for our district employees. Your Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication method is truly fantastic and provides such effective tools for us all to do our work so much better. After seeing you in action and learning more about the PNDC process you teach in the full-day workshop, I believe it is more powerful and effective than any other communication technique I have seen. Your dedication to results and real caring for the staff impressed me greatly. Your efforts went above and beyond what could reasonably be expected from an outside consultant.

—Maureen A. Tighe, U.S. Department of Justice

PNDC For Professionals in the Field Healthcare

Healthcare professionals are committed to doing everything in their power to help people heal and/or learn how to live life as fully as possible with conditions and disabilities that limit their functioning. At the same time, healthcare institutions and the professionals working with patients are facing overwhelming changes in terms of control over the patients’ treatment, astronomical costs, and increased scrutiny from patients, their families, the community, and the media. Traditional communication methods are simply outdated and ineffective in the high-pressure environment of today’s hospitals and clinics. Developing communication skills that reach patients and their families in times of severe crisis, along with effectively facilitating communication among professionals in the hierarchy of the organization can be invaluable.

Partial Client List: Kaiser Permanente — California Pacific Medical Center — University of California, San Francisco, Medical School — Seton Health Services Foundation — Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital — National Association Of Nutrition Services Agencies — Indian Health Services National Hygienists’ Conference — Oregon Dietitians’ Conference — Women’s College Hospital, Toronto, Canada.

Thank you Sharon and Ami for your outstanding presentation at our recent conference. You were so inspiring, and we were re-energized by your enthusiasm for our efforts. We were so fortunate to have had the benefit of your wisdom and experience. Your insight into the art of communication was invaluable. We are all on an emotional high, even though we know there is still a great deal of work ahead and there will be barriers and resistance. We know that we will continue to be in touch with you and there will be many opportunities for future collaboration.

—William D. Rhine, MD, Medical Director, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital & Associate Professor of Pediatrics, Stanford University School of Medicine

—Joan Forte, RN, BSN, Patient Care Manager of the IICN, Stanford Hospital, Johnson Unit, Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital

PNDC For Professionals in the Field of Law

During keynotes and training programs, attorneys will learn about the counterproductive impact of using adversarial communication methods during interactions with other attorneys, judges and even clients. For attorneys, this is a key issue since adversarial relationships have historically been built into our legal system as a protection for the accused. At the same time, the cost of litigation has become astronomical and most cases are negotiated out of court. Traditional communication methods make facilitating conflict resolution exceedingly difficult. Learning high-end communication skills for negotiation can be an invaluable tool for attorneys.

Partial Client List: U.S. Department of Justice — American Bar Association — Arkansas – California – Maryland – Georgia – New Mexico – Texas – Washington Bar Associations — Central District of California , Administrative Office of the Courts (AOC combined chambers and clerks’ office) — Los Angeles County Superior Court, (judges and clerks) — Sacramento Superior Court (civil, criminal, family & traffic) — Quinnipiac Law School, CT — Federation of Law Societies of Canada, Family Law Conference (Judges and Lawyers)

Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication can significantly improve how we, as lawyers, practice law. Law schools historically have not taught communication skills. Likewise, there has been little in the way of high quality continuing legal education on the subject of communication.

Only a very small percentage of cases make it to the courtroom. In my experience, most of the lawyer’s time is spent in verbal interactions – with clients, opposing counsel, witnesses, etc., in person, on the phone, in settlement negotiations, depositions and interviews. This communication, regardless of the setting, tends to be adversarial and defensive, which I have found is often counterproductive to achieving an early, acceptable resolution to the client’s legal matters. This causes many people to lose faith in our justice system, and foster criticism.

With skill in communicating non-defensively, I believe that lawyers would be in a unique position to model appropriate conflict resolution skills to clients and others with whom we come into contact with in our work. I believe that Sharon’s workshop can provide lawyers, judges, mediators, and arbitrators with a highly effective approach to communicating with power, dignity and integrity in our professional and personal lives.

—Laura Parrish, attorney, Past President of the Lane County Bar Association, Eugene, OR

PNDC For Professionals in the Field of Collaborative Family Law

In keeping with the mission of collaborative family law, it is crucial that professionals model non-defensive communication in their own interactions with both clients and each other. This requires a willingness to be open and honest — without judgment — both in joint meetings with clients and during team meetings. Easier said than done, it is essential to hold a high standard for transparency, honesty, and accountability on the part of the professionals, as well a willingness to also hold clients accountable. Doing so can protect the integrity of the process and greatly enhance the team’s performance and the clients’ ability to achieve transformative resolution.

Keynotes and/or Training Programs include: IACP international conferences: San Diego – Toronto – New Orleans – Minneapolis – Texas – Washington D.C. — State and regional conferences: Ontario, Canada – Connecticut – California – Florida – Maryland – Texas — Training programs for dozens of collaborative practice groups: U.S. Chicago – Dallas – San Francisco – Minneapolis – New York – Albuquerque – Milwaukie – Minneapolis Canada: Victoria – Vancouver – Edmonton – Calgary – Saskatoon – Winnipeg – Ontario – Montreal

From the very first moment, sitting among my collaborative colleagues, I knew this experience was going to change the way we communicated in our community. Folks who usually don’t have much to offer, or are skeptical of workshops, went out of their way to make sure I understood what impact this was having on their thinking just hours into the experience. To say it was positive, incredibly helpful—or even to use countless other descriptive phrases—do not do it justice. To explain that we were, and will forever be, changed by our work with Sharon just begins to scratch the surface.

On Day 1, in a text message with her ex-husband, one of our members immediately practiced some of the learning and was astounded with the results. On Day 2, other stories emerged that followed a similar pattern. This work impacts all aspects of a person’s life. Personally and professionally we would have far less conflict, and so much more energy to devote to the positive aspects of life. Personally, I am a better practitioner of my craft, a better mother, a better friend, a better wife.

—Donna M. Maier, President, (now past president) Collaborative Law Association of the Rochester Area, NY

PNDC for Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) Professionals

Mediators and other alternative dispute resolution professionals are dedicated to facilitating conflict resolution outside the realm of adversarial process, which requires sophisticated communication skills. Because the ADR professional must be open and direct enough to invite trust, while neutral enough to avoid “taking sides,” the balance is extremely delicate. Powerful Non-Defensive Communication skills sets are designed facilitate the ability to quickly diffuse defensiveness, ask questions that get at the deeper issues behind surface arguments, know when to give appropriate feedback to clients, along with setting limits that protect the integrity of the process. All are essential skills in facilitating highly effective mediations.

Partial Client List: The Association of Conflict Resolution, International Conference — the American Bar Association, International ADR Conference — the US Navy, International Mediation Conference — the ADR Association of Northern California — Kaiser Permanente, California Annual Statewide Ombuds/Mediators Conference — New Hampshire Federal and State Court Mediators — Maine State Court Mediators — the Centre for Dispute Resolution, 10th anniversary conference, London England — ADR Working Group for the federal government, Washington D.C.

We are still basking in the afterglow of the conference. Our conference committee has never heard so many accolades. This was our most attended biennial conference since our initial conference in 1998. Sharon gave four plenaries during the two-day conference. They were highly rated by participants and we received many evaluation comments indicating strong appreciation for the personal connection she made with many of them. Sharon certainly knows her subject, exhibits ease in communicating key concepts, and has an engaging method of presentation. She made it very inviting to ask questions and make comments, which enhanced the experience for professionals getting advanced training. Sharon interspersed the topic with humorous stories that were engaging and delivered her message. We are already getting requests for an encore.

—Kathleen Bird, Director of the Office of Dispute Resolution Services for the 7th Judicial Circuit of Missouri, Treasurer of the Missouri Association of Mediators

The Powerful Non-Defensive Communication (PNDC) process has been invaluable to me in my work as an attorney and mediator. It allows me both to utilize and to model non-defensive communication methods with parties who are in the midst of conflict or are unable to communicate effectively. The formats for non-defensive questions have been particularly helpful, as they allow me to move beyond a party’s position to find the true interests that lie behind it, without creating defensiveness. In turn, this helps the parties to feel that they have been thoroughly heard, creating more potential for the resolution of conflict. Powerful Non-Defensive Communication should be studied by attorneys and mediators everywhere.

—Emily Doskow, attorney and mediator, Panelist for the U.S. District Court Alternative Dispute Resolution Panel

PNDC for LCSWs, MFTs, Psychologists & Psychiatrists

Whether working on anger or depression, a situational crisis such as divorce, a relationship issue such as parenting or intimacy, or conflicts in the workplace, even highly motivated clients can move in and out of resistance and defensiveness. In addition, many currently accepted communication techniques used by LCSWs, MFTs, psychologists, and psychiatrists can actually prompt clients, however subtly, to become defensive and/or to hold on to their resistance. Regardless of setting, client population, or the focus of their practice, how quickly a therapist can defuse defensiveness and facilitate a client’s ability to move through resistance is a determining factor in her or his effectiveness.

Partial Client List: University of California, San Francisco Medical School, Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute — Mental Health Resources and Education Network — Center for the Vulnerable Child, Oakland, CA — Children’s Protective Services of Oregon — Carondelet Behavior Health Center, Psychiatric Care Center & Drug and Alcohol Program, WA — Sonoma County Mental Health Services, Psychiatric Emergency Services, CA

The sophistication and depth of the Powerful Non-Defensive Communication paradigm Sharon Strand Ellison has developed can be of immense value to psychologists. The theory transforms our concepts of power in human interactions. Both Sharon’s theory and practice challenge psychologists to expand their own awareness and knowledge and enhance their capacity to pass skills learned on to their patients.

—Dr. Gisela Bergman, Licensed Psychologist, Eugene, OR

Sharon has shown a special aptitude in coping with people showing problems of extreme dependency and self-destructiveness and has succeeded where many psychotherapists would have given up. She has conducted many workshops that are of her own unique style based on ideas and theory coming out of her inventiveness and creativity.

—Dr. Reid Kimball, Psychiatrist, Eugene, OR

I believe this is the most powerful structure I’ve learned in my training as a Marriage and Family therapist. It has tremendous implications for most human interactions.

—Bette Acuff, Ph.D., M.A., MFT, San Francisco, CA

PNDC for Non-Profit Organizations

The problems faced by non-profits are frequently paramount. Competing for limited resources can mean that employees receive low pay and/or that the organization does not have a secure future. While using volunteers strengthens the organizations resources, it can also complicate decision-making and communication. The people being served may have challenges that make the work difficult, whether they live independently or in housing provided by the non-profit. In addition, the job can require interacting with people and organizations with significant power, who may be invested in maintaining the status quo or are resistant to collaboration on issues being addressed. Since all these factors can impact relationships among staff as well, non-defensive communication skills are essential to a strong organization and successful results in the community.

Partial Client List: Volunteer and Non-Profit Leadership — ” I Have a Dream” Foundation — the Women’s Funding Network, including an international training program for women of color — United Way —Head Start, OR, CA — Empowerment Project for Women Prisoners — Rape Crisis Centers — Youth Enrichment Strategies, Richmond, CA — Community Partnerships, Boise, ID — Stir Fry Productions, producers of the diversity film, The Color of Fear

Sharon’s work has had a tremendous impact on the Napa Valley Peace Table’s ability to make open and honest community building a successful priority. The session was attended, among others, by our mayor, the district attorney, the superintendent of schools, the president of the community college, as well as some of Napa’s most exciting young student leaders. Sharon’s own communication skill and her powerful training program made it easy for all of us to realize how our words and attitude affect our ability to create “community” rather than chaos. The Napa Valley Peace Table’s goal of bringing a multicultural, multi-generational vision to the Valley’s future was jump-started at the heart by Sharon’s easy to understand non-defensive communication tools.

—Dorothy Lind, President, The Peace Table, Napa, CA

PNDC For Women’s Organizations and Leadership

Women’s empowerment is a core issue in virtually all organizations, as well as in personal relationships. The road to successfully empowering women’s leadership while maintaining a sense of equality at every level of any organization is often a struggle. This is true, whether in a corporation or in an organization of women who are providing services for other women, such as those who have health issues or have been victims of domestic violence. In addition, the women being served may also be defensive or resistant to the efforts to empower them. PNDC can offer tools for women that are essential, from inspiring other women by interacting in ways that are more likely to motivate them to make needed changes — to using our own leadership with a voice of wisdom that can reach the mainstream of women, men, and children.

Partial Client List: Hewlett Packard, Women in Administration — Women of Color Action Network, CA — American Association of Women in Community Colleges — University of Oregon, Sexual Harassment Network — Rape Crisis Centers, OR, MN — Women’s Global Health Imperative, (UCSF Medical School (leadership development for women scientists working with women’s health issues in Africa, Asia, Latin America and Eastern Europe.) — San Francisco Jail: Empowerment Project for Women Prisoners

As Executive Director of the UCSF Center for Gender Equity, I invited Sharon to speak at a leadership conference for women of color students in the health sciences which was also attended by some of the university medical school deans. As always, Sharon’s presentation was engaging, participatory and highly valuable. She was able to communicate effectively across lines of culture and received the highest ratings from the attendees. Comments included: “I believe everyone would benefit from hearing Sharon’s message and practicing her techniques.” — “As a woman of color, I thought this was outstanding. She brought me to tears!” — “Amazing information! Very powerful. The best and most practical workshop of the conference.” — “I think this was the best talk I have been to in my entire medical career.”

—Amy Levine, Director, Gender Equity Center, University of California Medical School, San Francisco, CA

“Women on the Move” is a yearly conference for approximately 600 professional and career women. Sharon Ellison was a presenter and was a great success. Many written comments indicated that Sharon is an excellent speaker, respectful, succinct, and demonstrated communication tools that were practical and immediately useful in the business world. We heard repeatedly that Sharon’s workshop was outstanding.

—Elaine Barrar and Sue Douglas, Women on the Move, Conference Coordinators