Who is PNDC for?
PNDC is for anyone who wants to communicate clearly, and without getting defensive no matter what another person does. Not only can it open the door to a productive discussion, often – even surprisingly – it prompts the kind of heartfelt conversations that we cherish.
Other examples are for:
- Anyone who needs or wants to be able to respond with more clarity and confidence when they feel misunderstood . . .
- Anyone who wants to struggle less with what to do or say when they are feeling distant or at odds with someone they love . . .
- Anyone who feels a need for additional skills that help children to grow up without wasting a lot of life energy on power struggle . . .
- Anyone who wants to move away from internal, self-defeating thoughts in order to have more self-respect, confidence, and determination . . .
- Anyone who has children in their life and wants to support them in learning to more fully protect themselves from bullying – and even, perhaps, turn a bully into a friend . . .
- Anyone who has the will to contribute to a shift away from judgement and alienation as a predominant global condition that damages us all . . .
- Anyone who wishes to encourage and reinforce a movement toward compassion, clarity and human connection . . .
We welcome you to learn more about PNDC!
What is PNDC?
PNDC stands for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication™ – a revolutionary paradigm that allows us to protect ourselves without getting defensive and to achieve our goals without resorting to power struggle. With this model, we can simultaneously be direct and honest as well as open and transparent, thereby increasing our integrity without losing spontaneity. In the process, we can enhance our own creativity and success, while prompting others to have greater respect and care for us. The surprise is that we can have far more power, rather than less.
Within the old paradigm, which we call “The War Model,” it doesn’t take a saber tooth tiger on our heels to prompt a defensive reaction — the slightest provocation can cause us to have an urgent physiological response. In this mode, we interact in ways that systematically create and accelerate much needless conflict and pain — even with those we love most.
While newer methods of communication are designed to deal with conflict more cooperatively, they’re still rooted in assumptions carried over from adversarial ways of dealing with conflict. Though perhaps more subtle, these approaches can still prompt defensive reactions in any personal and professional interaction. Beyond that, our ability to resolve the most imperative issues we face in our local and global communities continues to be stalemated.
PNDC, on the other hand, is built entirely on non-defensive methods of communication, where each person can speak with clarity, power and compassion without being dependent on others for cooperation. Small changes, create great impact. The process is easy enough for children to learn while challenging and inspiring for adults.
Powerful Non-Defensive Communication skills sets are supported by scientific data that clarifies exactly how and why the process is so effective with results that have been profoundly remarkable. Because the PNDC model does not require trying to control or manipulate others into responding in certain ways, it frees us from power struggle. As a result, others often drop their own defenses, sometimes instantly – even in high conflict situations. Using these skills, we can see a different side of human nature and have the potential to transform our relationships through simple conversation, creating a new reality.
Our Mission
Our mission is to foster human connection by working with wider communities of people to facilitate a shift away from communication methods that prompt defensiveness and power struggle — dividing and alienating individuals, families, communities and nations. We seek to replace this war-based form of human interaction by spreading a way of communicating that is simultaneously open, direct, vulnerable, honest, genuine, and powerful.
Who We Are
Sharon Strand Ellison, M.S. and Ami Atkinson Combs, B.C.C. are a dynamic mother-daughter team dedicated to the belief that learning to communicate with non-defensive power is a crucial key to our capacity for solving the majority of problems we face at every level — at home, at work, and in our local and global communities. They bring cutting-edge theory together with a remarkable ability for demonstrating practical, realistic, life-changing skills and deftly apply them to any issue or topic, such as team building, management skills, cultural competence, community building and parenting.
From the time Sharon was a small child, she thought it strange that adults would say, “It’s just human nature to be violent.” From the time Ami was a small child, she was an active participant in discussions that ultimately led, decades later, to a new paradigm for human interaction called Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, as outlined in Sharon’s book, Taking the War Out of Our Words. Subsequently, Sharon and Ami co-authored the audiobook, Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting, winner of a Benjamin Franklin Award.
Individually and together, Ami and Sharon do conference presentations and keynotes; and they facilitate workshops, webinars, and trainings for professional and community organizations, as well as offering both workshops and webinars for individuals, couples, and parents.
Sharon’s particular gift for analysis makes her adept at recognizing systemic communication patterns in both professional and personal relationships. In professional environments, she can identify patterns that damage working relationships and inhibit productivity. By pinpointing crucial issues, she provides the kind of clear and direct feedback essential for changing organizational culture. Likewise, Sharon can identify key patterns in the functioning of families, couples, and individuals — giving people the skills needed to create healthier, more fulfilling lives.
An exceptional storyteller, Sharon inspires audiences by modeling what she teaches with honesty and total engagement. Her ability to role-play further enhances clarity and enlivens her presentations and training programs. Sharon’s clients include professionals in more than a dozen fields, as well as people in community organizations and public workshops and webinars.
An invited participant at an International Symposium on Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies at Columbia University, Sharon participated in an analysis of the role of language in international conflict resolution. She is dedicated to the work of enhancing performance, creating leadership with integrity, and building community in every environment. Sharon is widely appreciated for her commitment, insight, humor, presence and compassion.
The cutting-edge skills Ami teaches are also transformational for individuals and families. She has served as a parent mentor, as well as a member of the NICU Parent Advisory Board at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital. Ami is exceptionally skilled at helping parents identify and change specific family patterns at the root of various kinds of conflict and stress, including tantrums, argumentative behavior, defiance, and low self-esteem, as well as resistance to participation in required activities such as chores and homework. She offers foundational skills for creating a family life that is open, honest, loving and, at the same time, very real and spontaneous.
Ami offers consultation, coaching, and training in person, as well as virtually, both nationally and internationally. Ami’s been an active participant in the discussion and development of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication from an early age and has been teaching the process for more than two decades.
Praise for Sharon:
People learn so much from stories instead of being lectured and Sharon gave such good examples; she showed the real emotions that people feel when misunderstandings happen and how they can fester inside of you, even for years. During her keynote people learned that they can have an avenue to address misunderstandings and conflicts instead of having them eat away at their hearts and souls. Sharon got the audience excited about learning something different, and people don’t always get excited about wanting to change! It was so clear that this can be used in every aspect of our lives without feeling threatened. Sharon made us laugh and moved us to tears. The audience wanted more.
—Beverly Bolensky Dean, EEO Investigator, Steering Committee 9th Annual Diversity Conference: “Diversity: Tools, Accountability, and Action,” Multnomah County/city of Portland, OR
Praise for Ami:
Ami is a master at teaching Powerful Non-Defensive Communication (PNDC) skills; she lives and breathes PNDC and it has been incorporated into her being. She teaches from a place of honesty, integrity, compassion and caring. She does this work effortlessly. She welcomes challenging questions from the participants. Her response to audience members is a vivid example of how she models PNDC skills, presents substantive, cutting-edge content and has an engaging style of teaching. I can’t think of a higher testament to the success of PNDC than to witness a master in action.
— Karen Thomson Harry, Certified PNDC Trainer, Law Society of Upper Canada; Mediator, Ontario Association of Family Mediation; Deputy Judge, Ontario Superior Court, Small Claims Division