A revolutionary method for eliminating defensiveness
More than a technique, a new way of being

How Do We Talk to Each Other Now?

Many people have shared that they feel an overwhelming sense of grief, fear, anxiety and/or anger in response to the magnitude of the issues we face in our increasingly divided nation. Life-long friendships have been broken and family members have become alienated from each other. We want to do everything in our power to offer support to our community of friends and website visitors. Our family hopes that what we're offering on our website and through our products will add to your skills in speaking with both honesty and compassion with coworkers, friends, and family.

—Sharon Strand Ellison, Ami Atkinson Combs and Jesse Combs

PNDC Books, CD's and Audio Downloads

Visit our Products page to learn more.

twow_thumb pndccd parenting

How PNDC can make people voluntarily drop their defenses, often instantly:

Download PDF Download Audio

Why Are We So Defensive?
Plus Other Videos...


PNDC Learning Room


Stories and Tips

Audio Cuts from Sharon's CDs

How much does defensiveness cost us? 

As Individuals:
Self-Esteem, Respect, Relationships

As Professionals:
Productivity, Clients, Success

As Organizations:
Team Performance, Revenues, Reputation

As Communities:
Local & Global Solutions, Peace, Abundance

The Problem—Defensiveness is Pervasive  

And Expensive:
For Individuals, Families, Professional Organizations, Corporations, and Society

For thousands of years people have used the "rules of war" as the basis for how we talk to each other.
We often get defensive quickly when we want to protect ourselves.
Traditional communication methods literally create and accelerate conflict.

The Solution—Eliminate Defensiveness

Do you want to communicate honestly without getting defensive or into power struggles—no matter how others act?

Just as we can develop new computer programs that serve different functions, we can shift to a new model for communication that does not have defensiveness as part of its “program.”

The system for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication™ Sharon Strand Ellison has developed offers tools we need in order to:

Protect ourselves without being defensive and achieve our goals without engaging in power struggle.
Be open, honest, and authentic in a way that is freeing, disarming and contagious
Resolve conflict and build respectful, reciprocal relationships so we can create health in our families, excellence in our work, and strong communities.

From the time I first read this book in manuscript form, I knew that Sharon was onto something extraordinary. Taking the War Out of Our Words delivers every bit of its title’s promise, giving us simple, powerful tools for breaking the cycle of defensive speech. This is truly a paradigm-shifting book. We’re used to thinking that learning to communicate more effectively has to be a struggle. With this model profound changes can happen so quickly. It has not only helped me in my professional life and in my marriage, but in parenting a toddler as well!

Caroline Pincus, manuscript consultant and former senior editor at HarperCollins

The Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication • Contact Us
Powerful Non-Defensive Communication is a trademarked name. © 1994-2014 Sharon Strand Ellison

Back to Top

Enter Email to Sign Up for Our Newsletter:


Sharon Ellison


Ami Atkinson Combs


Jesse Combs

"The premise is powerful: Human communication has been shaped by our focus on defensive self-protection and power struggle."

—Mike Maza, Dallas Morning News

"Taking the War Out of our Words ought to be required reading in high school, college, before getting married, and before becoming a parent.  Sharon Strand Ellison has the power to turn conflict into cooperation, resentment into rapport.  This book can change lives and relationships, Read it and reap."

Sam Horn, author of Take the Bully by the Horns.

"I have been able to test this method with the most difficult person in my life. To my absolute amazement I was able to defuse the anger and aggression in an instant. I am actually able to speak without compromising my integrity or becoming entrapped in power struggle. I am able to stay true to myself without a need for masking my feelings in order to remained protected. I believe this book may be preventing many years of unnecessary, damaging stress to my life. I will return to it repeatedly as a resource."

—Tifanie Hayden

"I feel a genuine shift to a calmer attitude towards everything I've done since the workshop. Driving, having dinner with friends, talking on the phone, it all just feels better because I know I don't need to be drawn in or snagged by any hooks. I even had a conversation with my mother where she actually listened to me!

I think that deep down, on some hidden level, we know we're hurting each other somehow when we're in power struggle, but it's so automatic, so expected and accepted, that we don't even think to stop and ask ourselves what that pain is all about.

When I realized my words weren't betraying my actual feelings, I was blown away and I felt more in touch with my emotions. The best analogy I can come up with is that if I'm a camera body, I've just been given a new set of lenses. "

—Jesse di Franco, Graphic Design and Marketing

Calendar Site Map Contact Us